How to cope up with a Break-up

Relationships: A bond like dalliance shared by two people, supposedly called as Love. Compromises are heavily practiced to withstand the test of time inevitably and sacrifices are made just to hold the promise which was once made. A relationship with the opposite gender might probably be God’s most precious gift to mankind. It surely feels a whole lot special to wake up to a text expressing itself with love and feelings, to have that ‘we’ feeling with your partner is great. The very thought of having somebody out there you would declare ‘ever mine’ makes you feel complete, like a reason to live for.

However, a break up or a drastic end to a relationship is nothing easy to deal with. Sickness, ailments and other external affairs could be looked into with adequate amount of medication and hardwork but not a break up. Love struck brokeness deals directly with the Heart, the heart is the most fragile of all parts and once broken, could never be fixed that easily. Your heart is where you store your memories and feelings both good and bad they’re kept inside. Also a prodigious amount of love is found in your heart, stored and reserved for that one person you cherish the most. When that person denounces your love thats when you actually stand under a polka-dot holed umbrella in a stormy night.

A friend of mine was in love with a girl who happened to be his first crush, childhood friend and later mentor of his own life. They knew each other for a decade. When she left him, he was more empty than a seasonal pond on a hot summer day. I mean, he loved her like a love song. He kept his Heart shielded from everything and everyone just to give it to her, he waited long and danced through the seperation of time finally reaching her pulpit to give it to her. It slipped, it broke. He cried like a baby and kept blaming himself for it. Maybe he should.. He concluded that God thought she deserved someone better than him and thanked Jesus for choosing to make her happy, least not with him, but with somebody else. As long as she is happy, he is. Its a rather sad story but it was inevitable and he took it like a champion. But this isn’t the case for everyone else, people go up to the point of suicide after a break up. So what were going to discuss here is a few guidelines and tips to cope up with a heart break. Again let me stress to you that I understand what your going through, for, a broken heart is more sensitive to put together than a shattered piece of glass. Strategies to be followed:

* READ: As I first stated coping up would be terribly difficult, its easy for you to think that you are all alone and there probably isn’t a single soul on earth who would understand your brokeness but lets be honest, Love and relationships were something complicated from the time of Aristotle himself, so its just you experiencing something that has always been around from the time civilization began. Reading would help you realize that you are never alone, great men have Literaturized their feelings of despair and failure in the same field as your going through. So reading it would make you feel a little more comfy about the situation that your in after all literature is a mirror to life.

*GO OUT: Dont be home and keep your bed damp, being oblivious in a room isn’t an answer to everything. By hiding yourself from the world you are just making the situation worse, being alone trying to bask in your grief is like sleeping in your own vomit. An outing would divert your mind, just allow yourself to be moved with the warmth of the day and always have your companions by your side, that would definitely help you forget your worries.

*BE OCCUPIED: When you have practically nothing to do (including media) the thoughts would haunt you like never before and you would end up in a scenario you would never like or appreciate very much. Memories are often time very hard to just wipe away, none could get up the next day and declare that he has forgotten everything about the woman he once loved. It logically isn’t possible. It would take time, as you already know that time is a wonderful healer but you need to keep yourself occupied with something if you dont really want those scars to hurt. Work overtime if that will help you, stay back in college, attend extra lectures, drive through traffic, do you assignments, meet people who really care about you, hit the gym and do anything physical so that your mind would be occupied thus not giving you a chance to think about her.

*DONT BOOZE: A lot of people (including myself) tend to drink or get baked just to forget their problems. But that wouldnt help one bit! Maybe to a certain extent you would be ‘less’ concerned about whats really happening but an overdose of any intoxication leads to a more abhorrent end. If a broken heart is a bed of thorns then profuse intoxication is a grave. It just leads to a miserable lifetime of pain and the very chances you have to setting things right would be tampered by your addiction. In the same way dont be suicidal also, death is never the solution to your problems but living life to the fullest with the grace of God is. There is soo much more that you could do when you have the will to face life.

*AVOID PLACES OR THINGS THAT HOLD MEMORIES: This is one of the most important areas you got to deal with and perhaps the most toughest. Remember that friend of mine I first mentioned, that was me (sorry. I like being anonymous) So I met her when we were kids back at the grotto of my Church and whenever I stand there to pray even now I just cannot hold back my feelings. I miss her like a sad song. I still remember when we first met how she blossomed for me and thats when I decided that its her that I want to be with. She was beautifull and different in every way possible, she was this angelic little girl with a gift of radiant presence.. see I got a little carried away, memories never fade. They’re always there, Especially if you love (note my tense) someone unconditionally. Coming back to our discussion, avoid places that hold such memories, avoid those little gifts or anything for that matter of fact that has her written all over it. I remember how my friend couldn’t delete her ex’s number from her contacts it was hard for her to do it finally her BFF did if for her. Objects and places when revised would probably scratch the scalp off you wound making things worse. Try to get rid of them, throw away those gifts, delete those messages and photos etc. If your not strong enough to do it ask somebody else to do it for you.

*SMILE AND PLACE YOUR TRUST IN GOD: Look forward to life, smile and have a positive spirit. Your hard time isn’t going to be frozen, frankly speaking nothing in this world is eternal everything comes under the law of diminishing marginal utility. A break up might be hard but time is a wonderful healer so dont be stuck at one point but allow your spirit to be moved by the passing days and you would find yourself happier than before. When people leave your life, be contented, for they are making way for the better ones to enter. This isn’t the end of the world for you or me, we both would probably meet somebody else, somebody special and more unique than the woman we lost in our past so take heart and be prepared to meet her. You would know it when she comes. Until then reconstruct yourself and work on your flaws, dont hold onto your memories but let it all go. when you do this you would be free because a broken heart is like a broken barrel, you would never be able to fill it with water. Whereas once you have pulled your broken pieces back together you could fill your heart with an unceasing amount of Love and keep it safe, sealed and special for that woman your going to meet for she probably deserves what your about to give her. Dont be selfish, give her all you got. And towards the end nothing is complete without God and his touch in our lives so offer upto God yourself as you are for none understands you better than him. He created you, he would just know what exactly to do with you for the best offering to make to God is a Broken Heart and a contrite spirit. Stay blessed!